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18-04-2014, 08:20 AM
(This post was last modified: 18-04-2014, 08:22 AM by ffrenchie.)
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about
In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".
The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother.
So where does this bit go then ?
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The guy who sued an airline for his missing baggage lost his case.
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What is the difference between a duck?
One of its legs is both the same.
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A person goes to the market and asks the seller: "Are these strawberries GMO free?".
I really do not know, replies the seller.
Then the strawberries could be heard: "Yes, we are GMO free".
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The strawberries should have been selling the market trader!
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17-03-2022, 12:11 PM
(This post was last modified: 17-03-2022, 12:12 PM by Sol.)
May need to listen with a scottish ear - but here goes.
A man walks into a cake shop:
Man: Is that a cake or a meringue?
Shop lady: No, your right, it's a cake.
Man: why is it £20 a slice ??
Shop Lady: Because it's Madeira cake.
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This isn't a joke so much as an anecdote. It's reputedly true, though the details vary in different sources. I first read it in Kenneth Williams' published diary excerpts. It goes something like this:
The French ambassador to London is retiring after many years, so the Foreign Office host a farewell dinner to which lots of dignitaries are invited. It's a rather posh do, with the finest china ware and silver, and discreetly formal service.
As the evening progresses, the conversation naturally focuses on the ambassador's career and his future plans. The Foreign Secretary asks the ambassador's wife what she is looking forward to in her husband's retirement. She replies that the one thing she really hopes for is just ... "a penis". In the ensuing shocked silence the ambassador leans over to his wife and quietly says, "my dear, in England zat word is pronounced happiness..."
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what do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea !
What you do call a dead deer with no eyes ?
Still no idea !
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