23-01-2015, 10:56 AM
I'm selling my Citroen Berlingo on Ebay (images on the link)
'Why' I hear you ask?
It's a vehicle that has been approved by the car god Jeremy Clarkson. '
Well', I reply, it's because:
I liked it,
as did my son,
It made trips away fun,
It's got so much room inside,
With places in which to hide,
All the stuff you need,
When you go out with your creed,
So sad to see it go,
But my wife passed her test and said NO!
'I don't like this silver thing',
Like an opera singer, she sings,
It's too big and it's not cool,
It makes me look a fool,
I want something small and smart,
Within which I can dart,
A jazz or Prius too,
So this is what You'll do:
Put one of your smart arse ads in a forum,
To see if you can sell 'em…,
…This car that you quite like,
Even though I think it's shite.
All inspections welcome. Infact I insist because you bid to buy, not to come, have a cup of tea then say you changed your mind.
When you click to bid and you win the auction it's like being at the alter. You are saying 'I Do', you are not Hugh Grant in 4 Weddings and a Funeral.
OK, about the car. There are a few little marks on it, it's not perfect. It's a 2.0 Diesel, which means it's surprisingly sprightly despite being of 2005 vintage and good on diesel. It's tires are all good and it has the desirable mondultop (whoooo!) and a collapsible trolly in the boot (another Whoooo).
It's been extremely reliable, despite being French, which normally means bits fall off it. Actually, the cover fell off the boot, but I bought some new clips so this no longer creates the comedy moment where you open the huge boot and you end with concussion as the plastic trim falls off on your head. But this should no longer happen, but I accept no liability if this happens again. Wear a crash helmet if you are concerned.
It's MOT'd until September (if I remember rightly). It passed the last one with no problems. It goes forward and backward, stops, goes around corners and has seats, air conditioning, electric windows in the front, actual windows in the back, windscreen wipers and lights at the front, which is really helpful at night. The doors are a brilliant addition for getting in and out, the rear ones slide, which means that, with children, it's far easier getting in and out without having to move spaces in the car park when your little treasure flings open the door leaving a little coloured message on the car next to you. Oh, it's done about 102,000 miles, which is a little tinkle in the sea of souls for such a fine piece of engineering.
However, it is in daily use as I have a little darling who we shuffle off to nursery every day and I can't be arsed to walk there and back as it's over an hour round trip if I walk on my own and it's quicker walking to the moon and back if I go with the little one and his scooter. The government takes £180 of my earth pounds each year for tax. Bids welcome. I'd like to get about £2000 for it, but if anyone is feeling generous, I'd accept up to £500,000 (said the eternal optimist). However, if someone does pay above £10,000 I will throw in a tank of diesel. For half a million I will throw in the wife. Lastly, I'd like to note that the squashed can of Fosters in the road is nothing to do with me. Hic.
Pick up from Sydenham in SE London, which is reason enough to bid as it's the centre of the universe. Hmm, Ebay actually put an option in this category for posting! I will not post this as I don't have enough stamps.
'Why' I hear you ask?
It's a vehicle that has been approved by the car god Jeremy Clarkson. '
Well', I reply, it's because:
I liked it,
as did my son,
It made trips away fun,
It's got so much room inside,
With places in which to hide,
All the stuff you need,
When you go out with your creed,
So sad to see it go,
But my wife passed her test and said NO!
'I don't like this silver thing',
Like an opera singer, she sings,
It's too big and it's not cool,
It makes me look a fool,
I want something small and smart,
Within which I can dart,
A jazz or Prius too,
So this is what You'll do:
Put one of your smart arse ads in a forum,
To see if you can sell 'em…,
…This car that you quite like,
Even though I think it's shite.
All inspections welcome. Infact I insist because you bid to buy, not to come, have a cup of tea then say you changed your mind.
When you click to bid and you win the auction it's like being at the alter. You are saying 'I Do', you are not Hugh Grant in 4 Weddings and a Funeral.
OK, about the car. There are a few little marks on it, it's not perfect. It's a 2.0 Diesel, which means it's surprisingly sprightly despite being of 2005 vintage and good on diesel. It's tires are all good and it has the desirable mondultop (whoooo!) and a collapsible trolly in the boot (another Whoooo).
It's been extremely reliable, despite being French, which normally means bits fall off it. Actually, the cover fell off the boot, but I bought some new clips so this no longer creates the comedy moment where you open the huge boot and you end with concussion as the plastic trim falls off on your head. But this should no longer happen, but I accept no liability if this happens again. Wear a crash helmet if you are concerned.
It's MOT'd until September (if I remember rightly). It passed the last one with no problems. It goes forward and backward, stops, goes around corners and has seats, air conditioning, electric windows in the front, actual windows in the back, windscreen wipers and lights at the front, which is really helpful at night. The doors are a brilliant addition for getting in and out, the rear ones slide, which means that, with children, it's far easier getting in and out without having to move spaces in the car park when your little treasure flings open the door leaving a little coloured message on the car next to you. Oh, it's done about 102,000 miles, which is a little tinkle in the sea of souls for such a fine piece of engineering.
However, it is in daily use as I have a little darling who we shuffle off to nursery every day and I can't be arsed to walk there and back as it's over an hour round trip if I walk on my own and it's quicker walking to the moon and back if I go with the little one and his scooter. The government takes £180 of my earth pounds each year for tax. Bids welcome. I'd like to get about £2000 for it, but if anyone is feeling generous, I'd accept up to £500,000 (said the eternal optimist). However, if someone does pay above £10,000 I will throw in a tank of diesel. For half a million I will throw in the wife. Lastly, I'd like to note that the squashed can of Fosters in the road is nothing to do with me. Hic.
Pick up from Sydenham in SE London, which is reason enough to bid as it's the centre of the universe. Hmm, Ebay actually put an option in this category for posting! I will not post this as I don't have enough stamps.