Sent to me by a friend in Scotland

[3rensho]

And just think, Americans, Canadians and Australians are descended from the forefathers of these “intellectual” wizards ……..!!


:-) ;-)














UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman:

What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant:

Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman:

No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you



BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:

Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant:

Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston:

There's a clue in the title.
Contestant:

Leicester ?



BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White:

Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:

I don't know.
Stewart White:

I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant:

Arm
Stewart White:

Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant:

Strong.
Stewart White:

Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant:

Louis
Stewart White:

Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:

Frank Sinatra?


LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski:

What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant:

France .
Trelinski:

France is another country. Try again.
Contestant:

Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski:

Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant:

Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski:

Just guess a country then.
Contestant:

Paris .


THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:

Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant:

The Conservative Party.




BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark:

For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis:

I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?


UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne:

What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant:

Goosey?


GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter:

What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?
Contestant:

I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO ? MANCHESTER )
Phil:

What's 11 squared?
Contestant:

I don't know.
Phil:

I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant:

Is it five?


RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:

Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant:

Forrest Gump.


RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:

On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant:

Er. .. ..
Richard:

He makes bread . . .
Contestant:

Er . ....
Richard:

He makes cakes . . .
Contestant:

Kipling Street ?


LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter:

Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant:

Barcelona .
Presenter:

I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant:

I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .


NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:

What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant:

The Pacific.


ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter:

Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant:

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre:

What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant:

Magna Carta?


JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien:

How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant:

Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?



CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Chris Searle:

In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller:

Japan .
Chris Searle:

I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller:

Er ..... Mexico ?


PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat:

How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (long pause):

Fourteen days..


DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham:

In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant:

Holland ?
Daryl Denham:

Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant:

Iceland ? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham: (helpfully)

It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant:

No.




PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood:

What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant:

Er. ... ..
Phil Wood:

It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .
Contestant:

Blimey?
Phil Wood:

Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ..
Contestant:

(Silence)
Phil Wood:

OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant:

Walked?


THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes:

What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant:

Nostalgia.


LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter:

What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant:

Jewish.
Presenter:

That's close enough.


STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright:

Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant:

Jesus.

[Chris]

Do you really want us to start looking for evidence as to the intellectual abilities of our N. American or Australian cousins??

Have to say though that the examples above a pretty shocking, but probably not exceptional these days

[3rensho]

Heee heeee Does explain how Bush got elected. Not too familiar with Canadian or Australian politics. It is shocking though.

[RB WRX]

Lol, that is Quality!

[j90xxx]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: