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What's the stupidest (Car!) thing you've done?
Not a car thing but a key thing... when moving to a new home one weekend, I borrowed a work truck over the weekend, filled it with my stuff on the Sat, and on the Sun drove to the new place.

I put the key in the front door. I already knew which way to turn it from the viewing. But this time I noticed that it also turned the other way. I got curious... and snapped the key off in the lock!!!

On a Sunday afternoon! Try finding a locksmith then!
53 1.4i MS MPV RIP
53 1.6 MS Desire RIP
08 C4GP 1.9 VTR+
(17-03-2022, 08:03 AM)evdama Wrote:  Got in the back of my current van when it was new to work on the plylining.
Back door blew shut in the breeze  and slightly latched.
After a few seconds the central locking auto locked.
No handle on the inside....
It was the first van I'd had with a side door so I didn't even think to look if it had one (it did).
I didn't want to force the back door so I waited until my son got home.
I shouted and banged the side.He thought I was messing about and ignored me.

Shortly after I bought my K9 I was at work and went in the back of the van to spend a penny (no, I hadn't installed a toilet - it was just pee in a bottle time - covid meant I couldn't go in customers' houses and sometimes there were no discreet garden bushes).  I pulled the rear door a bit too much and it clicked shut. Couldn't see a handle on the inside, as I was used to my old M49 that was configured differently. Then the interior light went out.  Got out my phone, phoned the customer and asked them to rescue me. I made sure the bottle I'd been using was hidden from view. When the customer opened the door and light streamed in, they pointed to the interior door handle that only a fool could've missed..........
Work van:     2020 1.5 BlueHDi 100 Enterprise Berlingo
Spare van:    2001 1.9 600d Berlingo
(17-03-2022, 08:35 AM)saskak Wrote:  
(17-03-2022, 08:03 AM)evdama Wrote:  Got in the back of my current van when it was new to work on the plylining.
Back door blew shut in the breeze  and slightly latched.
After a few seconds the central locking auto locked.
No handle on the inside....
It was the first van I'd had with a side door so I didn't even think to look if it had one (it did).
I didn't want to force the back door so I waited until my son got home.
I shouted and banged the side.He thought I was messing about and ignored me.

Hahaha, I suspect it was not that funny at the time.

I had a similar, albeit not locking myself inside but outside and since then I always keep the keys in my pocket.

Yes I've locked myself outside too, as well as inside (see above).
I've got a slamlock fitted on my M49 cargo doors, and one day the inevitable happened and I shut the door while the keys were inside. I phoned the lock guy who installed the slamlock, but he couldn't help without the key code, which of course I couldn't read.
Fortunately I could access the cabin area, though I couldn't drive cos the ignition key was on the ring with the rear door key. Unfortunately the cargo and cabin areas are separated by a metal grille, and I had to very carefully push a bamboo cane through the grille, hook the key ring, lift it up and pull it back to me. If I'd dropped the keys off the cane they would have been irretrievable among all the gear in the back.
I always carry 2 sets of keys with me now.
Work van:     2020 1.5 BlueHDi 100 Enterprise Berlingo
Spare van:    2001 1.9 600d Berlingo
This is not the stupidist thing, just an amazing reversal of sod's law. There's a small metal plate that covers and protects the door catches in the floor of my M49's cargo area, and a couple of weeks back I noticed it was corroding, so yesterday I decided to tackle it. The plate is secured by 3 torx screws, each about 1cm long. After taking off the plate and using a drill attachment to remove the corrosion, I made a trip to the local supermarket. Then I was ready to start painting.  I went to the back of the van, and what did I see?  The three torx screws, still sitting in a group where I had left them on top of the bumper.  I'd driven 7 miles around bends and over bumps, had gone up to 45 mph, and they hadn't rolled off!  I couldn't believe it.
Work van:     2020 1.5 BlueHDi 100 Enterprise Berlingo
Spare van:    2001 1.9 600d Berlingo
Came out of asda with my arms full of shopping and at least one spliting carrier bag, put stuff down anywhere while I got sorted. Loaded the shopping, got in the car and drove off, then as I got on the dual carriageway, I noticed my wallet sat on the wipers. 3 miles, no hard shoulder.
Could be worse.... Could be a Caddy.
Remember the Morris Minor Traveller?

I worked for British Leyland in the late 60s as a Field Service Engineer. Our job was to liaise with fleet operators and main dealers to address frequent or difficult vehicle issues and, if necessary, go back to the Design Department for advice. The works had a number of Morris Minor Travellers as pool cars; they were all white and had been registered as a batch so all had similar registration numbers. Reputedly these were the ones which British Leyland couldn’t sell when production had recently ceased.
Several were allocated to our department but there were never enough cars to go round so jobs had frequently to be arranged around car availability. One day my colleague was catching an early morning flight from Manchester to Dublin so had to take a pool car which he was going to leave at the airport for several days. We arranged that he would leave the keys with our agent at the airport and I would get a lift later in the day from another colleague and use the car while he was away.
My colleague dropped me at the Short Stay car park and there was the white Morris Minor Traveller with the familiar registration number. I called at our agent’s office but no-one had any knowledge of any keys. Nor did the airline desk or lost property. So I walked out to the car and noticed that the quarter light wasn’t quite shut and I easily opened it with a pen knife. I opened the door and bonnet, jammed the two fuses together, pressed the button on the starter solenoid and set off for Birmingham awarding myself 10 out of 10 for initiative.

Morris Minors never had steering locks and although they were key start the starter solenoid also had an integral button allowing engine start from under the bonnet. The fuse box used on most BL cars at the time had two fuses; one was permanently live and the other live when the ignition was on. The Lucas designer had created a very thief friendly arrangement. If one fuse was removed it could be easily jammed between the two fuse clips thereby making everything live. Removing the fuse would stop the engine.

I returned to the office a day later and my boss came out to meet me and asked “where did you get that car from– it’s not one of ours!” He had the advantage of a bit of background. My colleague who took the car to the airport had a puncture on the way and had no time to hand over the keys. He rang our boss from Dublin to apologise to me. Another BL factory (the Triumph factory at Speke) reported that one of their cars was missing. Everyone had a good laugh and our boss wasn’t sure whether to reprimand or congratulate me on my initiative.

I had accidentally stolen a car – it could happen to anyone.

And anyone who has a Morris Minor should be aware how easily they are to steal!
Not me, but my late father always used to service his own cars [like many in previous generations did] as well as my sister's car and helping me with mine when I first started motoring many years ago. Anyway getting back to the story, my sister used to change cars more often than some women change hairdos in part because one of her friends since school days went into the used car dealer business and often offered her good deals on cars, which my father invariably ended up having to service, carry out repairs etc.

One particular evening my sister had dropped off her latest acquisition a white Ford Escort Mark I for my father to service but had had to park down the street as our drive was full of vehicles and there was nowhere to park near our house. Later that evening, after some vehicle shuffling in the drive, I parked my car out on the street and waited for my father to come back with the Escort he had walked down to fetch. After standing around for about 15 minutes [waiting to close the gates] I got fed up and went back into the house. My father eventually appeared about half an hour later. 

"Wouldn't it start" I asked
"No that wasn't the problem" he replied
"What was?" I asked
"Had a real problem getting the Krooklok off" he replied
"Didn't know she had fitted one of those" I said as I went outside to see and Escort Mark I but not my sister's car! My father had managed to open the car door [which I later realised wasn't that difficult as old Ford locks could be opened with almost any key!] and undone the Krooklok with her locking aerial key! The ignition barrel was obviously worn as well as he had no trouble starting that!

Luckily with it being late evening, we swiftly parked the other Escort back and I drove my sister's car onto our driveway...

Not a Citroen  Cry

2008 B9 1.6Hdi Multispace XTR
2007 M59 1.6Hdi Multspace Desire
2002 Xsara Picasso 2.0Hdi
1996 ZX 1.9TD Estate
I used to own an Austin 1800 (think of the 1100 but on steroids), Transverse engine sitting on top of the gearbox.

I can't even remember exactly why but I needed to remove the cam chain sprocket so had to lock the cam chain tensioner back. Simple enough job, remove a blanking bolt half way between the cam and crankshaft and insert an allen key into the tensioner and rotate the guide to pull back the tensioner, or so I thought.

A wire hook to stop the chain falling down, removed the sprocket then a clink, clatter clatter clatter. Look down the timing case, no tensioner. After some time trying to find it from the top I end up removing the entry panel where the gear selector cables go into the gearbox and manage to fish it out of the case. Then hours of work trying to to get the tensioner back in its guide without dropping it again.

The reason for doing the work was so minor I can't even remember what it was, why is it that what is so often that uneccessary jobs turn into the biggest disasters.
Way back in the day and mitigating an excuse via lack of any experience or tools beyond spanners and screwdrivers.
To name but three...
Cleaning carb on a Mobylette and put the brass float in my back pocket for safekeeping.
Even forty years ago spares weren't that plentiful.

Changing oil filter on Mk2 escort drove a screwdriver through the canister to use as a lever.
Screwdriver migrated out tearing the filter off
No means of gripping it I removed the pump .
Pump would not prime on reassembly.Too much trauma to remember but I think It worked out.

Changed Cambelt on mk 2 astra-how difficult can It be?
£7 for the belt and why does the dealer want 170 to do it for me?
Yep just cut the old one off and lever the new one back on with a spoon
Two hours that took.
What do you mean tensioner and timing pins?
Miraculously it worked but having recently done a kit on the B9 it sends shudders thinking of the possibilities.
It is on my to do list.
But not right at the top

2012 Hdi75 van

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