Posts: 1,912
Threads: 29
Thanks Received: 375 in 329 posts
Thanks Given: 67
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Derbyshire
Reputation:
20
18-04-2014, 08:20 AM
(This post was last modified: 18-04-2014, 08:22 AM by ffrenchie.)
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about
In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".
The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother.
So where does this bit go then ?
Posts: 1,167
Threads: 44
Thanks Received: 158 in 146 posts
Thanks Given: 97
Joined: Oct 2019
Location: West Essex
Reputation:
28
The guy who sued an airline for his missing baggage lost his case.
53 1.4i MS MPV RIP
53 1.6 MS Desire RIP
08 C4GP 1.9 VTR+
Posts: 1,167
Threads: 44
Thanks Received: 158 in 146 posts
Thanks Given: 97
Joined: Oct 2019
Location: West Essex
Reputation:
28
What is the difference between a duck?
One of its legs is both the same.
53 1.4i MS MPV RIP
53 1.6 MS Desire RIP
08 C4GP 1.9 VTR+
![[-]](//berlingoforum.b-cdn.net/images/collapse.png)
•
Posts: 988
Threads: 60
Thanks Received: 255 in 216 posts
Thanks Given: 228
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: UK, Wales
Reputation:
29
A person goes to the market and asks the seller: "Are these strawberries GMO free?".
I really do not know, replies the seller.
Then the strawberries could be heard: "Yes, we are GMO free".
•
Posts: 1,167
Threads: 44
Thanks Received: 158 in 146 posts
Thanks Given: 97
Joined: Oct 2019
Location: West Essex
Reputation:
28
The strawberries should have been selling the market trader!
53 1.4i MS MPV RIP
53 1.6 MS Desire RIP
08 C4GP 1.9 VTR+
•
Posts: 5,667
Threads: 75
Thanks Received: 1,282 in 1,134 posts
Thanks Given: 223
Joined: Dec 2011
Location: UK
Reputation:
162
17-03-2022, 12:11 PM
(This post was last modified: 17-03-2022, 12:12 PM by Sol.)
May need to listen with a scottish ear - but here goes.
A man walks into a cake shop:
Man: Is that a cake or a meringue?
Shop lady: No, your right, it's a cake.
Man: why is it £20 a slice ??
Shop Lady: Because it's Madeira cake.
______________________
Current:
Not a Citroen!
______________________
Previous:
2017 B9 1.6 BlueHDi Van
2012 B9 1.6 HDi Van
2008 M59 1.6 HDi Van
2003 M59 1.9D Van
•
Posts: 614
Threads: 38
Thanks Received: 67 in 64 posts
Thanks Given: 122
Joined: Mar 2021
Location: England
Reputation:
7
This isn't a joke so much as an anecdote. It's reputedly true, though the details vary in different sources. I first read it in Kenneth Williams' published diary excerpts. It goes something like this:
The French ambassador to London is retiring after many years, so the Foreign Office host a farewell dinner to which lots of dignitaries are invited. It's a rather posh do, with the finest china ware and silver, and discreetly formal service.
As the evening progresses, the conversation naturally focuses on the ambassador's career and his future plans. The Foreign Secretary asks the ambassador's wife what she is looking forward to in her husband's retirement. She replies that the one thing she really hopes for is just ... "a penis". In the ensuing shocked silence the ambassador leans over to his wife and quietly says, "my dear, in England zat word is pronounced happiness..."
Work van: 2020 1.5 BlueHDi 100 Enterprise Berlingo
Spare van: 2001 1.9 600d Berlingo
•
Posts: 1,665
Threads: 40
Thanks Received: 391 in 348 posts
Thanks Given: 128
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Galloway
Reputation:
29
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea !
What you do call a dead deer with no eyes ?
Still no idea !
2020 Rifter 1.5 allure
2010 B9 red XTR w a v.
2001 1.9d DW8B white Berlingo
2005 2.l green Berlingo
2001 1.9d DW8B white Berlingo
berlingo 1.4 red multispace
1993 xud 1.9 red partner
•
![[-]](http://berlingoforum.b-cdn.net/images/collapse.png)
haha
